Chapter 1
Warmups come, and come quickly. "I can sing hIIIiigh todaaaaay," sings the angel of the Lord.
1 Thus sang the angel of the Lord: "Hmm 123454321."
2 Thus continued the angel of the Lord: "Vvvvaaa 54321."
3 And he sang: "rrrrirrreerrraaa rrrrooo rrrrruuu" on a descending five-note scale, similar to the previous exercise. Said he: "Five shall be the number thou shalt count, and the number of the counting shall be five. Thou shalt not sing a six-note scale, neither shalt thou sing a four-note scale, excepting thou then proceedeth to sing another note. Six notes is right out. Thou shalt embellish every note with a nice little turn. [i] shall be the vowel thou shalt sing, and thou shalt really roll those r's (vigorously)."
4 He sang: "9-note ah ooh."
5 And again, he sang: "nnnnnnoooooo." This was a 5-note scale as well. And it came to pass that he really rounded those lips! They closed nearly to "u." And it seemed strange to him. And it came to pass that he said: "once this exercise gets uncomfortably high, thou shalt place the n in the zygomatic arch, and place the o in the same place, and thou shalt get thy desired resonance."
6 Another warm-up exercise sang the angel of the Lord: the 9-note ah oh exercise, not to be confused with the exercise two exercises ago, which is plainly different but which often gets confused with this one nonetheless. Keep the lips round up top. Keep the o in the same place as the previous exercise. Thou shalt not change the vowel to make the shift in pitch more comfortable. Just do it, saith the angel of the Lord.
7 A final warm-up sang the angel: 1358531 [i][a]. Keep the focus in same spot, and make "ah" more "uh."
8 Thus spake the angel of the Lord in the office that was potentially once a restroom. Amen.
Chapter 2
The song Non più andrai is worked on. One problem is worked on for about twenty minutes, only to be solved when Hayden makes a connection with other pieces he's been singing five minutes before the lesson ends.
1 Thou shalt add the recit.
2 Thou shalt not chop off so much with double consonants.
3 Thou shalt sing "riposo" using those round lips that have brought thee such wondrous success. And don't forget to open thy mouth (a good inch and a half).
4 Sing through the consonants, lest you perish! O man, sing correctly, and be saved!
5 If thou couldst race the piano and win, thou mightest stay in time successfully and not drag the pianist into the depths of slowness with thee.
6 Thou shalt better support the B section of the piece, and not sing weakly when thou must sing quietly.
7 Thou shalt write out a handful of cadenze. Perhaps thou canst steal some from professional recordings.
8 Concerning the placement for "per valloni," the focus must err towards [i].
9 We didn't talk about this in the lesson, but keep both vowels in "fischiar" in the same place. Behold! The position of the i vowel really sets up that a vowel to sound super nice.
10 Thou canst not change the vowel to accomodate a shift in resonance. If it goes higher, thou canst not change the vowel to accomodate that, saith the angel of the Lord.
11 Thou hast the tendency to tip thy head down to sing the E on "riposo."
12 And it came to pass that the student was foolish. Amen.
Chapter 3
The monumentous task of singing that damned high A in Ich grolle nicht is discussed.
1 On first Herzen, open thy mouth a bit more. Similar to "riposo."
2 Thou shalt add a nice little gliss from E3 to E4. Keep it light, stay in chest voice, and use lots of breath, saith the angel of the Lord.
3 And it came to pass that the angel of the Lord sang: "wheeeahhhhh." And the pattern for this exercise was 18531. And it was found to be useful.
4 Most importantly, thou shalt not let thy mouth spread wide when singing high notes. Thou shalt monitor the corners of thy mouth, and let them yearn for each other.
5 The Lord hath said it. Amen.
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